Fear, You Don’t Own Me! – Thoughts on “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli

Song Credits: “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli

As a child, what were your biggest fears?

Maybe you were afraid of the dark or monsters. Maybe you were afraid of thunder. Or like me, maybe you were afraid of everything.

As we get older, most of the irrational fears fall by the wayside. At least, they probably should. But I’m honestly still afraid of Narnia and riding a bike.

Unfortunately, these childish fears are often replaced with other fears.

Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of losing people we love. Fear of the future. Fear of what people think.

Sometimes, fear keeps us from moving forward. Sometimes, fear keeps us from doing what God is calling us to do. Fear calls us to the comfortable; the familiar. Fear causes us to waste valuable time worrying over what we can’t control. Fear will get us nowhere in life.

As someone who greatly struggles with fear, I really appreciate Francesca Battistelli’s “The Breakup Song”.  You can hear this incredible song on Resound Radio, and feel free to check out the video above.

I love the idea of “breaking up” with fear.

In the chorus, she sings:
Fear, you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you telling me what I’m not
Like you know me, well guess what
I know who I am
I know I’m strong and I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here

Breaking up is definitely an emotional process. If you’ve ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out, you know the feelings involved.

Spring 2017, I thought for sure I was going to marry a coworker. He loved the 50s like I did. He was interested in radio. He was old-fashioned and respectful. He was great with customers. But he wasn’t a Christian. As it turns out, he only cared about himself and what he wanted.

We never moved past the “friends” stage, but I spent way too much time thinking about him, texting him, and inviting him to church or family dinners.  By last July, he stopped texting me and it became apparent he had moved on. While it hurt at the time, I’m so glad that this relationship didn’t work out. I was in the wrong frame of mind. I had become so absorbed in him and his hobbies that I forgot who I was. 

And you know what? Fear does the same thing. It seems comforting and welcoming at first, but ultimately traps us into forgetting who we are. 

Breaking up is hard to do. Some fears have had such a strong hold on us that it’s difficult to let them go. But with God’s help, it’s possible to be free from fear.

Our identity is not found in fear. It’s found in Christ. Under fear, we’re slaves. Under God, we’re free.

If you’re someone who struggles with fear like me, here are some amazing verses that can help us learn to trust God and not live under fear’s control.

  • For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” ~ Romans 8:15 (ESV)
  • For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
  • Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. ~ John 14:27 (ESV)

What are some ways that you deal with fair? Do you think the “breakup” analogy works well in this case? I’d love to hear your thoughts and thanks so much for reading!