Fear, You Don’t Own Me! – Thoughts on “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli

Song Credits: “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli

As a child, what were your biggest fears?

Maybe you were afraid of the dark or monsters. Maybe you were afraid of thunder. Or like me, maybe you were afraid of everything.

As we get older, most of the irrational fears fall by the wayside. At least, they probably should. But I’m honestly still afraid of Narnia and riding a bike.

Unfortunately, these childish fears are often replaced with other fears.

Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of losing people we love. Fear of the future. Fear of what people think.

Sometimes, fear keeps us from moving forward. Sometimes, fear keeps us from doing what God is calling us to do. Fear calls us to the comfortable; the familiar. Fear causes us to waste valuable time worrying over what we can’t control. Fear will get us nowhere in life.

As someone who greatly struggles with fear, I really appreciate Francesca Battistelli’s “The Breakup Song”.  You can hear this incredible song on Resound Radio, and feel free to check out the video above.

I love the idea of “breaking up” with fear.

In the chorus, she sings:
Fear, you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you telling me what I’m not
Like you know me, well guess what
I know who I am
I know I’m strong and I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here

Breaking up is definitely an emotional process. If you’ve ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out, you know the feelings involved.

Spring 2017, I thought for sure I was going to marry a coworker. He loved the 50s like I did. He was interested in radio. He was old-fashioned and respectful. He was great with customers. But he wasn’t a Christian. As it turns out, he only cared about himself and what he wanted.

We never moved past the “friends” stage, but I spent way too much time thinking about him, texting him, and inviting him to church or family dinners.  By last July, he stopped texting me and it became apparent he had moved on. While it hurt at the time, I’m so glad that this relationship didn’t work out. I was in the wrong frame of mind. I had become so absorbed in him and his hobbies that I forgot who I was. 

And you know what? Fear does the same thing. It seems comforting and welcoming at first, but ultimately traps us into forgetting who we are. 

Breaking up is hard to do. Some fears have had such a strong hold on us that it’s difficult to let them go. But with God’s help, it’s possible to be free from fear.

Our identity is not found in fear. It’s found in Christ. Under fear, we’re slaves. Under God, we’re free.

If you’re someone who struggles with fear like me, here are some amazing verses that can help us learn to trust God and not live under fear’s control.

  • For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” ~ Romans 8:15 (ESV)
  • For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
  • Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. ~ John 14:27 (ESV)

What are some ways that you deal with fair? Do you think the “breakup” analogy works well in this case? I’d love to hear your thoughts and thanks so much for reading!

 

Your Own Personal Relationship

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Stuart’s Story

A common thread that I have started to notice is the importance of that initial turning point when someone comes to the Lord. When talking about the beginnings of someone’s faith, a lot of Christians think of the “Sinner’s Prayer” that is recited about 20 times just in case the last one did not actually do the trick. However, when thinking back over a lifetime, true Christians realize that it took something else for them to truly understand the importance of their decision to follow Christ. A relationship with God is meant to be so much more than just a recited prayer. When one’s faith is realized and fully lived out, it becomes so much more their own personal relationship, and you receive #blessingsonblessings.

Stuart shared truth on truth when it came to a relationship with the Lord. Many times, we allow the expectations from parents and friends to enforce our decision when it comes to our relationship with the Lord. However, we should be making this decision for our own reasons because we want to get to know the Lord and because we realize that we are NOTHING without Him. The moment we realize that He is greater than anything that life has to offer, everything in our life starts to change.

I think the best part of the conversation was during the #preach segment when he went in on the idea of unity. There is something that is so beautiful about the idea of unity to Christ and in Christ. You see, we will never ever be good enough on our own. However, as Christians, we get to place our identity in Christ. When we find ourselves in the Lord, we can trust that everything will happen in a beautiful way because the path He has for our life is far greater than we can ever imagine. That is not where it ends! You see, we also get a family. All the others that find themselves in union with the Lord also gain unity with you. This life and faith is not supposed to be lived alone, but instead your faith should be lived out with others. In God’s family, you gain other members that will push you, love you, and encourage you. Fellowship and unity in Christ is not only about a potluck dinner after church. It is about a family that will love you in such a unique way because we have a father that loves us in such an unexplainable way.

We Must be Emerged in God’s Identity to Find Our Own

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Erik’s Story

 

When the plans you had for your life fall apart, what do you do? How do you move forward when you realize that you have not allowed the Lord to be your number one? What if the thing that you have made your idol is the thing that you are no longer able to do? What next? Well, it’s time to figure out where your treasure lies because that will adjust where your heart lies.

I honestly think that God does not think I get it, because this interview was one of many that talked about identity. It keeps coming up, but God often will continue to teach us more and more about the same concepts. The thing about Erik’s story is that his identity was so consumed by football that his eternity hung on a thread… okay that may be a low-key exaggeration. However, if it were not for the fact that God snatched football away from his life, he would not have realized that he was falling down a slope that lead straight to death and further away from his heavenly Father.

Identity in the Lord. When will Christians understand that we will not truly feel satisfied until we rest in the Lord? When will we understand that we will not know our true self until we know the Lord? Who will ever know you better than the one who created you and knows your every thought and movement? Nobody. So why do we continue to allow other things to fill our mind? Why do we live these sub-par lives where we claim that God is our number one, but we surely do not act like it?

Guys, our lives are not a game. Our lives are not meant to be lived hidden away. We say we are Christians yet we hide away in fear of others. Or we allow ourselves to be enslaved by the very passions that the Lord has placed in our hearts that were meant to glorify him.

You will feel broken or the Lord will break you over and over again until you get it. We are not truly free or whole until we are fully emerged in God’s identity.

Finding Who We Are

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Alex Paat’s Story

Upon the first impression of a person and we think we already have an idea of what their entire life is like. We think that we know everything about them, and we may even get to know some parts of their story and we feel like we can walk away with all we need. It is easy to think, “They have had a great life. They have a fantastic family. Their walk with the Lord is so beautiful. They have to have a story that is completely unrelatable to the mess that is my life.” Well, if we take the moment to actually stop we’ll realize that we have so much to learn from their stories.

Alex Paat is one of those kids that you meet and it is easy to believe that his story is one that has been told one too many times. However, if you get in that mindset you miss out on the way the Lord has worked in his life and you miss out on how that story can help you grow.After this interview, I walked out with a new sense of who Alex is and how important the Lord truly is.

Alex found the Lord during first grade when a pastor shared the truth of Christ’s sacrifice. However, at that young age he was not able to truly understand the importance of the GIFT Christ gave him. He went through the cycle of continuously praying in hopes that this prayer would do the trick. Many of us can probably sing a loud AMEN for the times that we thought that we were not actually taking the gift because we were not good enough or hadn’t said the right thing. However, it is a gift. There is nothing that we can do to deserve it. However, we do get to choose to receive this gift or hand it right back. Alex realized this truth through Romans 8:38-39.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing could take that gift away from him, but he had to make that decision to receive it. However, receiving the gift is not the only step. There is a heart change that comes along when you allow the Lord to become your number one. I can see the evidence of the Lord working in Alex’s life, but things weren’t always that easy.

You see, Alex had to struggle with what his identity was rooted in. He had to choose either to focus on man or God. One thing Alex said that really hit home was the question he had to ask himself: “I don’t even like these people, so why am I so focused on trying to impress them? Not everybody is going to like me, but that is okay.” When we finally let go of the desire to please other people, our world opens up to be fearlessly used by the Lord. 

I know I have talked about this plenty of times before,  because it has come up on other interviews. BUT, there is a reason it comes up…. because it needs to be said again!

When I look back to the importance of an identity rooted in Christ I realize that when we learn who God truly is, we get to find out who we are.